Substack Exclusive: "Weep" by Tidez REVIEW

From the FAST FIVE in Midnight Donuts #4

The following is an extended review of a track we covered in the FAST FIVE (a collection of 5 mini-reviews in each issue of MD) for Midnight Donuts #4 back in July. Want a print zine including this, four more mini-reviews, and much much more? Order yours at this link or email us at midnightdonutszine@gmail.com, and stay tuned for Midnight Donuts #5 on the way soon!

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“Weep” is both the lead single and first track from UK based artist Tidez’s first EP Tears in the Mirror, which takes a transparent look into Tidez’ struggles with depression, vices, and processing grief. Dissonant synth chords set an ethereal backdrop to Tidez’ slam poetry type flow, fitting for the pensive and vulnerable bars that set the tone for the whole project. “Reflecting on what made the man I see in the reflection; was it Jesus and the blessings, or the demons and depression?”

We’re immediately introduced to the two forces Tidez feels fighting for his mind and soul. We spend the rest of this track exploring the dichotomy and how it’s affected both the old and new man. From women to alcohol to retail therapy, Tidez spends his bars reflecting on how he used to cope with pain and the loss of loved ones, and in a moment of honesty, opens up to let us know that these demons still come back to tempt him.

“And Lord, you know I’m trynna be a good man… so I keep running, I can’t look back.” Tidez seems to be inviting us into understanding that these vices were normalized by his environment with the lines “We was all just good kids, look at what the hood did. Look at what the hood done”. In the second verse he goes on to explore the ways he was taught to process grief with bars such as: “Vices wasn’t right for me. In this society it's such a rare sight you see a black man crying. We just take it on the chin and move on… but I swear we gotta change”.

But as the beat starts to swell and take us into the chorus, Tidez juxtaposes what he is being taught by the culture (“I didn’t love life… depressed asking God why. Still keep it G… I cannot cry”) with a beautiful truth that we see in Scripture. Muted trumpets proclaim the entrance of a choral backing vocal and jazzy guitar chords as Tidez croons over the beat: “But if my Lord wept, why can’t I weep as well?”

John 11:35 is the shortest verse in the Bible, and Tidez keeps his chorus brief and concise by only repeating the line “why can’t I weep as well?” once more before allowing the instrumentals to serve as a backdrop of our own reflection over this profound truth: that the almighty Creator of the universe experienced grief and its expression. Every time I relisten to this chorus it raises goosebumps.

All in all, I found this track to be a very courageous exploration into some deeply personal topics, especially considering that while it’s not Tidez's first track, it does serve as one of our first formal introductions to the artist. While I wish the verses were structured in a way that reflected the song’s themes, I think that this track showcases some really promising talent and perspectives that are needed in the underground CHH scene. I am really excited to see what more will come from the UK artist, especially if he continues on this trajectory.

Lyrics:

Reflecting on what made the man I see in the reflection

Was it Jesus and the blessings or the demons and depression?

I just oppose the feelings of the pressure

They see me grafting don’t know theres grief in my endeavours

I’ve had tear drops running down my face, till I taste, henny make ‘em taste a lot better

Gotta shoe the levels, they know Imma hot steppa

Baddie wanna mix telling me come press her

And Lord you know I’m trynna be a good man

I’m trynna do a lot, so I keep running I can’t look back

My bros would sell it out the book bag

Had line paper ‘fore they wrote or ever could rap

Before they ever could spit

We was all just good kids, look at what the hood did

Look at what the hood done

Had a fair share baddies I been looking for a good one

But to girls that I draw I’m not tied

Said they want the knot tied

Not Tidez, I’m here juggin’ I’m exhausted not tired

Yeah she pretty and she patterned but see I ain’t got time

Used to see relationships and think I want mine

Lost drives, tough times, my uncle and my don died

I was out here hating living brudda, I didn’t love life

I was gonna stop mine, depressed asking God why

Still keep it G jigga, I cannot cry

But if my Lord wept, why cant I weep as well? Why can’t I weep as well?

I used to think opening up was a scam

I was broken and lost and detached

All this pain that I’d just wanna stop

Burning but kept that bottled in like a Molotov

So I’d focus on the next piece that I’d wanna cop

Or the gal there looking sexy that I’d wanna chop

Thinking back I was just looking for love a lot

It makes sense, cuz I wasn’t talking to God enough

Vices wasn’t right for me. In this society

It’s such a rare sight you see a black man crying we

Just take it on the chin and move on

Yhey beat us down it made us too strong

But I swear we gotta change

Cuz when I talked about my mental, that didn’t fix it on the day

But as soon as I did was like a burden gone away

Problem shared is a problem halved, so my shoulder lost some weight

We been fed a lie, ignoring it wont stop the pain

And if my Lord wept, why can’t I weep as well? why can’t I weep as well?

Strong but I’m weak and frail; Father I need some help.

They call it toxic man I’m not certain, the more I learn the more I’m unlearning

Hurt people tryna stop hurting, I just hope that my God’s working

A shorter version of this article originally appeared in Midnight Donuts #4 from July 2024. Want to read the most recent edition of Midnight Donuts? You can do so here!